Dress shopping. The root of all female self-esteem problems. Why? One word: Barbie.
These stores expect every woman to be 5' 8" with legs up to her armpits and boobs the size of the Pentagon. Each.
These are the stores that stock the lingerie racks with only D cups or bigger, and it's SO RIDICULOUS, because no woman was ever born to look like that. Yes, Playboy models included. And somehow, girls let themselves get sucked into the overwhelming cry of "You are never skinny enough, your boobs are never big enough, your hips are either too big or nonexistant and your stomach has FLAB." I hate this.
And then there are the people who spend hours torturing themselves, looking for the "perfect dress" which can never really exist, and by the end of it they're miserable and yet they want to come back for more because secretly, all women are just a little bit masochistic.
God knows that explains underwire. I'm sorry, all you girls out there who adore the concept of an underwire. I'm sorry, all you (nonexistant) boys who read my blog who probably have no idea what an underwire is but are about to get a rude awakening. I'm sorry, Pat Sajak, that you're so ugly, and that you spend your days trying to molest the 20-year-old chicks on Wheel.
.....
Anyways, the underwire is yet another form of masochism. For God's sake, it was originally invented for women with saggy boobs. Last time I checked, the only reason girls wear bras with underwires now is because...it's incredibly painful and does almost nothing in terms of "enlargement". Yeah. Honestly, if you want bigger boobs get surgery or buy a pushup. Dear God, don't subject all the normal, non-masochistic folk out there to rack upon rack of UNDERWIRE BRAS. I can't even find lingerie anymore that a) isn't a D-cup and b) doesn't have underwire or unnecessary lacy stuff. I'm sorry, apparently I missed the memo about every girl needing huge boobs. Sad part is, unless I'm planning on willing myself into lactation, I'm not going to be going up a cup size or three any time soon.
And that was probably way too much information, but goddamit, I don't CARE. I'm sick and tired of cramping every single month, of not finding comfortable bras, of seeing yet another girl think she's too fat and not pretty, and most of all--I am done with bits and pieces of my insides falling out every month and people calling it "WOMANHOOD". You know what?
I RENOUNCE BEING FEMALE.
Love with a happy friendly (HAH!) tampon on the side,
Tsubaki
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4 comments:
LOL I totally agree. I must admit that the lacy stuff on bras does make me a little happy, tho...and I must also confess that I am one of those girls who IS terribly masochistic, because no matter how frustrated I am after looking for clothes, I will leave the mall and immediately want to go back.
*hits self*
And God, who doesn't hate cramping...endometriums FAIL.
LOLOLOL
and that is all i have to say
Damn, that's what that word was...endometrium. *is health test failure*
Sorry dear, can't hate on the underwire. Not like I'm actually big enough to need it, but, as far as bras of this day and age go, they're my favorite kind. To be honest, I have no idea why.
OH and go here: http://www.tamponcrafts.com/
I have to second Schmidt on the underwire, even though I'm also not big enough to really need it. It's just nice because I never worry about things being where I don't want them. It's nice to know your boobs will just stay put.
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