Schmidt, you're probably the only person who comments because you're probably the only person who READS--I don't send out notifications, because then I would expect comments. And that's not the point.
Anyways, my dear reader (singular), you asked for another Bollywood summary. And so, just for you, here is the summary of a movie known as....Lagaan.
Some dudes play cricket and India beasts England and there's a love triangle and then more cricket.
The end.
No, seriously. That's about all that happens in Lagaan, but it is epic and amazing and I suggest everyone should see it, because even if there are five billion hours of cricket, it's quality for a Bollywood film.
But since it makes for a crap summary, I'm going to do another one.
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.
Which apparently translates literally to "Something Something Happens". The colloquial meaning is a lot less cooler, so I'm going to stick with this.
In this movie, some college guy named Rahul is best friends with a tomboy named Anjali and she, of course, has the biggest crush on him ever because THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS. And she's all goofy and has a ridiculous pageboy-bowlcut monster of a wig and she pwns his ass at basketball. Every single morning.
When they make up after fighting, fake whistling is involved.
One day, the school's principal's daughter comes, and she's all elegant and classy and instantly Rahul goes gaga for her. And she's so wonderfully sweet that even when she's playing an electric guitar in a sparkling silver minidress, she's not considered a skank. Go figure. So they do a dance for their whole college about how they've "found someone" and it's basically a love triangle of madness.
But of course, Anjali has to go home (via dramatic train station sequence, no less) because her aged relative is about to kick the bucket, and Rahul and Other Chick have magically fallen in love, so she feels like a third wheel. Rahul and Other Chick spawn, and then Other Chick dies of...........something. Possibly complications from birthing the spawn, or possibly cancer. Or possibly, she dies of melodrama.
That happens a lot in India.
And Rahul is told by Other Chick as she lays dying to name the Spawn "Anjali" after the best friend, because she's nuts like that.
And there are dramatic sequences wherein KidAnjali has to talk about her mother and cries and that starts Rahul crying and soon all of India is crying. KidAnjali then skips off to summer camp, having successfully depressed an entire nation, and Rahul follows after her when he figures out that AdultAnjali is there and now made of the traditional Indian sex. Basically, she ditched the wig, the sneakers, and the shorts and started wearing saris 24/7.....Other Chick isn't the only crazy one here.
Rahul comes to the camp and attempts to woo her, and the camp director and someone's mom get into a fight over India vs. Queen of England and, of course, the mom wins and starts everyone on learning traditional Indian methods of badassery. Meanwhile, Rahul kicks Anjali's butt at basketball. And finds out she's engaged.
In more dramatic sequences, Anjali runs into the forest and sees her betrothed in the middle of a storm and eventually tells him she loves Rahul more. AT THE WEDDING ITSELF. The poor guy takes it like a champ, making him also crazy but probably the nicest character in the whole movie. Rahul and Anjali and Anjali form a perfect little family unit of crazy, and after four hours, God knows how many songs, even more dramatic sequences, and a bit of Indian pwnage, the movie comes to its happy conclusion.
Now the end for real.
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