Fail cops meet win thieves...and get drunk

I realized I've been remiss in my Bollywood summaries. Why?

Because I forgot to include Dhoom.

Yeah. It's as awesome as the title implies. Dhoom is about a gang of unbeatable motorcycle-riding thieves, led by a male model who happens to be incredibly badass and also vaguely reminds me of Orlando Bloom, but less irritating.

Anyways, the gang of unbeatable motorcycle-riding thugs goes around stealing shitloads of cash and everyone across India is going, "ZOMG RLY?!?!?!" But they're not really surprised that their police force is shit, because the guy responsible for catching the gang opens the movie by engaging in a fake smexy-time song and dance with his way-too-hot-for-him wife. Obviously, this guy has better things to do than work. Duh.

And the guy realizes that in order to catch the gang, he's going to need someone who thinks like a biker (read: someone stupid enough to do all the work for him). He finds a superb motorcycle racer, who is feeling a wee bit upset: he was just beaten by the male model riding a rocket-powered bike. This racer, who is pretty good natured even if he's a bit of a scammer, winds up agreeing to help the cop. And so begins the epic.

There are several songs, one of which takes place in the rain, with random men who get out of their cabs just to dance backup. Another is actually a legit song, as it occurs at a concert. But it utilizes the Thriller dino-hand, so it's not all that legit. And in between all this musicality, the racer falls in love with the hot lady of the biker gang, the cop gets pwned a couple of times, and they all get completely sloshed at a New Year's party. The most epic part of this movie, however, is the climax. There's a huge chase scene on land and on water, the hot lady decides she kind of loves the fool racer, and in the end.....well, okay. I don't want to spoil the end for anybody who's planning on seeing the movie, because it's better unspoiled. Highlight the next few lines if you're not interested in watching but for some reason care what happens anyways.

Head baddie, who's got several million dollars on the back of his bike, is cornered by the cops. So what does he do? HE DRIVES HIS BIKE OFF A FUCKING CLIFF. WITH THE MONEY. All several million dollars go fluttering into the ocean in one of the biggest flip-offs I've ever seen in a movie. Why they don't fire the cops, I'm not sure, but you sort of have to sit back and admire the win.

It's a really special movie, and it's sort of a classic in the sense of, you can't really say you know Bollywood until you've seen it. So see it. It will rock your socks.