With an (almost) completely unrelated title, this blog post is already shaping up to be a paragon of incoherent rambling. But I shall try, for the sake of my own sanity, (I wouldn't try for the sake of yours, because I don't really care about your sanity. Sucks for you) to keep myself at least a little on track.
And that track would be in response to a post on the brilliant blog of Ahaneen. For as it turns out, I too am a girl with girly thoughts. And although I cannot deny the accuracy of The Sad Truth, I'm not quite sure all of those apply to me--then again, now that I look at the list that dooms me to being single the rest of my days (not that I'm complaining much, mind), all of these apply to me, except for the height one.
Damn.
Nonetheless, I have realized that while being liked is an unbelievably flattering experience, being feared is much more my style. If girls have to turn into simpering, seductive idiots just to catch a guy's eye, I think I'd rather keep my brain, thanks. Because sadly enough, it looks as though most guys really, truly want a girl who is beautiful, self-assured, but very much NOT the more dominant half of the relationship. I suspect this has to do with the male ego again.
Girls who tell guys when they've made mistakes, girls who point out a moronic error and laugh at it, are immediately shunted into the "friend" category. If not the "EVIL BITCH" category.
I'm pretty sure I get put into the second one more often than not. Woohoo! Guys think I'm a snob, girls think I'm a bitch, and it's all probably true, but being nice is too hard when everyone around you is stupider than the local blackberry bushes. Most people deserve to be mocked, and I'm just the one to do it! The way I see things, blunt honesty is preferable over sugary flattery, and I am a master at blunt honesty. If you didn't want my opinion, you shouldn't have asked for it, right?
Right. Here, I can pretend everyone agrees with me. I know most of my friends think I'm tactless--Hell, I KNOW I'm tactless. Tact is useful in some situations, but if it's something important, honesty is better. Too many false friendships are built upon nothing more than tact alone, and my inability to keep friends means I have to conserve all the tact I have for the people who matter to me.
Obviously, they are limited in number. I don't trust easily, and it's much easier to remain pleasant acquaintances with someone to go the extra step it takes for them to be considered my "friend". Yes, this is brutal, but in a school of 300 people, when you lose a friend, it hurts, because you don't have that many to begin with. I had a grand total of three friends in kindergarten. In 8th grade, I had four. Only one of them had been my friend since kindergarten.
I'm not trying to be melodramatic--this is what happened. I am horrible at keeping in touch with people, and I don't tend to put out a huge effort to make friends. Clearly, this means I'm not going to HAVE many friends. To me, there's a difference between liking someone and being their friend. More commitment, more work. And I'm lazy by nature.
It's not like I really regret it; having few friends means I don't have to be smothered by large numbers of people. Yes, I'm kind of a misanthrope. I don't find ANYONE flawless, even if someone's flaws don't irritate me. Most people's do, because I am also easily irritated, touchy, and I act like I'm constantly suffering from PMS (of course, when I AM PMS-ing, I get worse).
And I used to wonder what exactly it was that made me unattractive as a girlfriend. Apparently, at some point I've answered my own question. If I met another me through some odd form of inter-dimensional travel, I'd hate myself.
Clearly, self-love is for the nice people. Too bad I'm not one of them.
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3 comments:
siiiigh, guys just don't know what they are missing, do they? you know what, you have inspired me to continue this circle (again), and put a post on my blog. great jeaorerorb.
Great jeaorerorb indeed.
Dear, I really hope the "stupider" thing was a joke.
ANYway, I guess I'd say it all depends on the guy. I'm reluctant to group them all in one category, just as I'm reluctant to be thrown into a category. I don't want to be considered obsessive, nagging, and petty; I'm sure they'd rather not be called brainless, ego-inflated, and idiotic. But that's just my beef with generalizations in general (omg).
BUT I will admit that guys have a tendency to want to be dominant (might have something to do with that ego thing). That can be problematic if you like being in control. However, there is good news - there are some guys who are willing to not be dominant for you! Sometimes they'll let you walk all over them because they're that desperate/enamored. You just have to look out for that guy (or girl! YAY!) - trust me, there'll be one.
Anyway, guys are asses (woot contradiction) and don't deserve our affection. And, you don't realize how nice being "single" (a.k.a. not having to be tied down to anyone) until you aren't.
WOOT long comment
Ishani, you haven't been slumped into either one of those categories.
You've been slumped into both: you are a friend, and an evil bitch. That's why I love you dearly.
And I must admit, guys suck. A lot. Don't waste your time. Considering how you don't associate with any, don't like any (I hope), and don't intend on associating with any and therefore liking any, I'd say you've made the choice for yourself. And you've made the right choice.
So...my point is...don't care whatsoever if guys don't like you and therefore lump you into categories. You don't like them either, even on a friendly level, so what makes you think you'd enjoy being passed off as some trophy girlfriend. Of course, you'd never be a trophy girlfriend, you aren't dumb enough, but you'd probably be the "smart girlfriend who is on my level and I can relate to as a friend and as a sex objet." That doesn't sound like fun either.
Hurrah!
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