Although I've been slacking ever since I started high school, I am and will always be an avid reader. Not ever one for deeply philosophical books, I started out with books that described the adventures of Bob, his rug, and his cat. They were positively gripping for a preschooler. As I grew older, I lived in two sections of the library--girl+horse=super sparkly magical connection!books (if you're anything like me, I have only three words for you: The Saddle Club), and Star Wars. This was around fourth grade or so, and I'd seen only one of the Star Wars movies. They were not considered "in", and so I would be doing my best impression of a ninja (albeit a prepubescent one) as I checked out the next five books in the never-ending saga.
I miss being able to just spend hours in the library--my current school's library is nearly always filled with students working, and for someone who likes nothing more than to sit on the floor with a pile of books and read, it's a little too chaotic.
But my point is not that I don't like busy libraries or that I have the weirdest taste in books ever. My point is that now I'm a teenager and actually trying to find a book for someone my age that isn't either something I'd read in English class or written in the 1800s, my choices are limited to cliche fantasy novels and teen stories.
As a side note for all you Jane Austen fans, I HATE Pride and Prejudice--I got through six pages and it took me half and hour and it was the most boring thing I've ever read except for maybe the first sixty or so pages of The Fellowship of the Ring, which I pretty much skipped. I'm not saying that it's a bad book--well, yes, I am--but you're entitled to your own opinion. Just be warned that if you flame me for hating on Jane Austen, I'll probably laugh at you.
But back to my point: I also hate teen stories. Now, I don't mean stories MEANT for teens--obviously I can't argue with those (much). But I do mean stories about your average high school guy/girl with a drug addiction/rumor problem/baby/crush/pet walrus. Sometimes, your average high school kid has ALL of these things, and so what do they do? They angst. For hundreds of pages. And then some sadistic idiot decides to write all of their angsting down on paper for posterity, and it gets published and turns into yet another crappy story about life, love, and not fitting in.
Cry me a river, and I'll hold your head under until you stop thrashing. Why would a teenager want to read about their own life, only dramatized? If they're a decent teenager, they can dramatize it themselves! That's all we're good for, really. If your life revolves around The Drama, I don't see why you'd need to read about it in your free time. Just spread more rumors, sleep with more members of the football team, or smoke crack and voila! Instant drama.
Or you could just realize that drama actually sucks, stop being a catty bitch, NOT contract 14 STDs all in one shot, and save your few remaining neurons from whatever your drug of choice is. Why there's even a CHOICE, I don't know. It seems rather obvious to me, but then again, I'm not exactly your average teen.
I mean, my God lives in Korea and sends me pictures and poetry via Gmail, my Bible is titled Scaramouche, my best friend is my computer, and I still cheer when I watch movies like Mulan. And to top it all off, I am the master of denial, because I tell myself that I really don't care whether or not people like me. If you've figured out that I'm probably passive-aggressive by now, congratulations. My therapist hasn't seemed to have gotten it yet. Woohoo for self-diagnosis!
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3 comments:
Good heavens, that post covered a lot. As far as books go, I'd have to agree - teen shit sucks (unless it's gay-centric teen lit, than trashy is ok because I'm deprived), and Pride and Prejudice gives me hives. It's just too much of "wry" womanly wit to handle. Essentially, it's like a catty teen story, but oldschool. No gracias.
This is why I read modernist goodness or Annie Dillard - Virginia Woolfe (best novelist ever), Fitzgerald, Steinbeck, Graham Greene, etc. However there are certainly some excellent classics, like Tolstoy (woohoo! crazy russian guy!) or Thomas Hardy (always pick men, or you'll get shit like Austen).
Also, in the library, the best spot is upstairs in that enclave full of nazi books - as you come up the stairs, it's the hunk of shelves in the back to the left. Though you'll have to sit on the floor, it's very peaceful, and nobody will ever find you.
Ooo, and happy birthday (& sorry for not being there)!
I'd have to say I plead guilty to liking a lot of the stuff that you guys hate. For example, I've only read one Jane Austen novel--Pride and Prejudice--and I hated it...the first time. The second time, I loved it, but not because of the wry womanly wit. I probably enjoyed it because it fed my hopes that I would someday find my true love...and because it fed my thirst for Regency Men.
Teen books are a different matter: there are some that I really like, but I am extremely picky about the content. It pisses me off when the protagonist is just some "average" teenager devoid of personality, characterized only by whatever gimmick happens to set them apart. However, sometimes the story is good enough to make up for that, and sometimes the main character is useless but the supporting characters are amazing, and sometimes the main character has a gimmick but is also interesting as a person. Any of those is enough to make a teen book a ton better for me. And I admit to having read some pretty useless, girly books when my own life just isn't cutting it...but hell, I also admit to having spent all of my allowance on chocolate during those times. I have vices; live with it.
This comment is already way too long. Anyway, I'd say that I read impulsively. There are, as Schmidt says, a lot of great classics, but if I feel like reading about some modern girl's identity crisis rather than some 19th-century guy killing a pawnbroker, then I'll choose the one that appeals to me rather than the one with the most cultured-sounding title.
My advice to you: read something that makes fun of society. Kurt Vonnegut, Chuck Palahnuik, Voltaire, F. Scott Fitzgerald, etc. I can't get enough of it. And these people are just as snarky as you, so I'm guessing you'll find something there that you'll like.
I mean, my God lives in Korea
Best comment ever.
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