Male fashion (doesn't exist)

It was really sad when I felt guilty getting caught laughing about how a testosterone-fueled male in my 9th grade history class flashed his manboobs to his sniggering cohorts across the room.

Even sadder is that it's a true story. So let's get one thing straight--if you, as a male, have boobs, accept that it is a part of puberty and DON'T WEAR WIFEBEATERS. You'd think it'd be simple, obvious. But no--apparently, it's now a fad for guys to advertise the fact that they need bras, on account of all the jiggling going on in PE. It's disgusting.

In a totally shallow way, I feel obliged to admit that if hot guys wander around without their shirts, I'm not going to be screaming and covering my eyes. But the guys at school?

Don't qualify as hot. Don't even qualify as better looking than, say, Christopher Walken. Pasty white thighs and manboobs do not an Abercrombie model make, so don't dress like one, idiots.

And while I'm on the topic of male fashion, I'm just going to throw this out there: sagging sucks. Last I checked, underwear is meant to be covered by outer-wear. As in, you know, PANTS. Kinda defeats the purpose if the pants are halfway down your ass, don't you think? Granted, I'd take boxers over butt-cleavage any day, but I never needed to know that a boy in my advisory wears Calvin Klein boxers.

I know that girls too are guilty of exposure--but at the same time, strapless bras are a pain in the ass, and sometimes tanktop straps slip. If there was a way to guarantee that the bra straps would stay hidden, God knows I'd use it (I cannot speak for the girls who expose scalloped-edge cups in their school photos). HOWEVER.

Belts are easily available. Even easier, of course, is to buy pants that fit. Scandalous. I know that some guys have an issue with finding the right size of jeans--so buy for length and use a belt that works.

I've also heard the argument that boxers slide up--and okay, this may be true. But why do they look like they're around the guy's hips--not his waist? Where do they start at??? And regardless, that doesn't excuse the guys I've seen walking around school with their pants BELOW their asses, tugging them up every few steps because if they didn't, their jeans would simply fall around their ankles. Talk about awkward. It's like you're stuck in that moment when you're changing and you're halfway through getting your jeans on, only then you just randomly decided to leave the house like that because clearly, you're an idiot.

Actually, that'd explain a lot.