Culture being batshit (a list)

1. I was watching a Youtube video of this Japanese talkshow, wherein a guy whose lung had collapsed apologized to his fellow band members for troubling them. Because his lung collapsed. And all I could think was that following that logic, people with cancer should just write apologies to the world for all that expensive research we've done. I mean, in case it's troubled us. People with lung cancer should just be taken out and shot.



2. My parents have the horrible habit of randomly inviting fourth cousins twice removed over to our house for dinner without telling me. Yesterday, a lady and her husband showed up, and I had no clue who they were. Apparently, I was at their wedding. And left early, because it was a traditional Indian wedding and the ceremony was more than six hours.


3. There is something wrong with the Austrians. Mostly Falco, who thinks that a hot pink paper with his signature on it constitutes a CD cover. One day, I would like to see Falco remake Schnappi, because he'll wear a pink crocodile suit, complete with rainbow croc-fro, and it will be more high than Jake on mint ice cream.


4. There is no race/culture/ethnicity that can ACTUALLY pull off an afro. Black people just fail a little less at it than everyone else. For proof of the hairstyle horror, I point you at the world's only J-fro, on a guy who apparently goes by Hidden Fish. I have no words.



In the end, the only thing I can really conclude from this post is that I hate culture (among other things). I hate having to write about culture in English class, and I firmly believe that culture is on drugs. Austria's on meth, India's on Ecstasy, Japan's hallucinating that it's Africa and I have no idea what it's on.


But Sweden wins. I mean, who else pickles HERRINGS? (After looking this up on Wikipedia, I was terrified to notice that apparently everyone pickles herrings. But Sweden is still crazy.)