It's part two of Viva Myself, wherein I talk about maybe sort of even liking myself sometimes. Shocking, I know. But I need it, and I want to, so I'm darn well GOING to.
I'm halfway competent at school, even if I procrastinate like a failure, and I think my continued (relative) success is because I'm actually pretty smart, deep down.
I don't particularly like my nose (it has long been the bane of my face), nor do I like my jaw structure (it's lopsided) or my chin (it's round and protruding) or a lot of other things about my body. But you know what? I like how I look anyways. When I put on makeup, it's because I want to and I think it makes me look nice, even if it really might not. If I dress up, it's for the same reason. And when I do, I am pleasantly surprised by how I look. I actually like some of the photos of me that are online, I just pretend not to. But I do.
I like my taste in music, and in literature, and in movies. I'm a proud fangirl.
I have absolutely no interest in a relationship any more. I feel independent and finally, properly, calm about the whole idea. It was hard to reconcile wanting a boyfriend with not wanting marriage and children, and now I don't have to.
I like that I'm happy most of the time. I'm pretty good at being happy--not necessarily cheerful, but happy.
I'm practical. A little crazy sometimes, and an outrageous dreamer (sheep farm in New Zealand! Re-enacting parts of LotR with the help of iPod music, some horses, and a few friends!) but I have a sensible head on my shoulders more than 80% of the time.
I am not coordinated in the least, but I still feel graceful sometimes.
I like that I'm finally capable of admitting that I like myself. I hope this doesn't somehow make me a social outcast (I have theories on how we like to be miserable), but I kind of feel better all the same.
I may not be able to sell myself to colleges, but I have successfully sold myself to me.
Viva myself!
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2 comments:
awww. Oh man, that sure is nice to hear sometimes. I see what you mean about the theories of misery, but i honestly, absolutely, truly, 100% believe that I am more satisfied when my friends are happier. Not a qualm in the world. happy friends --> happy you. So, for example, this blog post has made me feel much happier about my evening. So thanks! And congrats on being able to admit (to yourself and others) that you like yourself. That takes powerful insight for a teenager and courage for a human. <3 So go humans!
Hooray for you! I love happy hapy self-esteem! Frankly, if there is any single quality most important to doing life, it would be a good dose of self-esteem. Nothing is wrong with loving yourself. Sounds like feel-good mumbo-jumbo, but it's true.
P.S. you failed to mention your art and DIY skill. Important! Also your lol-tastic sense of humor and your dependability, also important.
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