On gamer nerdery

Recently, I've been playing on the PS2 a lot more than usual. And it turns out that like many other excessively nerdy people, I am an obsessive gamer. It's not that I really, really like to win, or that I like to strategize so that I will always win (both of which I do).

It's more that when I have a goal in mind, I will BORE MYSELF TO TEARS SO I CAN ACCOMPLISH IT.

For example, I wanted to get my black mage to her next spell, which required a fair amount of leveling up. I wanted the spell prior to the next boss battle, so I had to stay in one monster-heavy area. And I wanted to be able to heal without having to waste potions or MP so I could just level up in one session of gaming.

I should have realized this was a bad idea.

I wound up running my party in circles around a save point, waiting to get attacked and then hacking through the same type of monsters OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

It took me hours.

The worst part is, I'm now going really fast through this game because of my newfound obsession. And this is a problem because the game, in a way that makes me want to beat my head against a wall, inevitably ends with the player's character DYING.

So basically the whole point is you work your ass off for hours and hours (22 and counting), keeping your character alive through copious applications of Cure and Life, and WHEN YOU FINALLY BEAT THE GAME OOPS TOO LATE HE'S DEAD.

It's sad, to be sure, but more than that it's ridiculously frustrating. Isn't the purpose of every RPG ever created to defeat the bad guys, save the world, and not die while you're doing it? I wouldn't even mind if it was another one of the party's playable characters, but no. It's the main character, and not only does he die, it turns out he never really existed.

How's that for a tragic ending?