Damn, I should've posted this a week ago

Summary of California: The weather is a fucking tease.



I keep thinking I'm going to have a really nice, sunny day, but no. Epic failure of the sun.



On the bright side, I can now tell people I regularly used the men's bathroom of a frat house and watch as their faces contort with horror. It's not that bad, really, but one of the showers has odd orange goop stuck on the door handle. Obviously, I don't use that one.



Also, we have tons more free time than I thought we would, and there are computers in the house itself, so it's all good. Although once again, I find myself haunting Gtalk (especially on Sundays), waiting for people to get online and NO ONE EVER DOES *hints like mad*.



Except for occasionally Cynic and his partner in crime, who I shall affectionately dub Not Nearly As Bad (But Getting There Quickly).



In other news.........I have no other news, because I haven't been Youtube surfing at all. But I did watch the Doctor Who season finale (without ever watching Doctor Who before) and it was pretty interesting. I think this requires more investigation.



And also I went hiking (walking) the Dish, which is basically a fatty fenced-off area where there are mountain lions, squirrels, and some giant dishes that look like they're used in making Death Rays.

EDIT (7/16/08): Well, the last week was miserably hot, so fuck you, California weather. Also, we had a dance. It was an demonstration of the failings of the male sex. And then we had a waterfight. Which wasn't a demonstration of anything, except for maybe how easily entertained really nerdy people are. And we watched billions (two) Heath Ledger movies, and I am depressed because a) he's cute and b) he's dead.

And a follow-up: Gay pirates win

Summary of Stardust: Robert De Niro dancing around with a pink feather fan.

It's like someone in Hollywood loves me.

Anyways, I'm going to be gone for quite a while (not that I post frequently enough to make it noticeable) and don't know how much Internet I'll get. So here, have a crazy Scottish battle song. It's a real work of art.

Also on Imeem is this song by a guy named Owain Phyfe, which is basically even worse than Bernard when you're having sex. It's almost as bad as Moondoggie. Or Pterodactyl.

I've discovered I don't really like plain coffee. Because I'm a psuedo-Seattleite I like to pretend I do, but it turns out I fail at being from Seattle and only like coffee with tons of sugar and chocolate and milk.

Here's another odd little thing I've rediscovered: those plastic tubes of colored water that are hollow. And like the picture says, they ARE super fun! They're also basically plastic genitalia (male AND female--equal opportunity toy molestation!) that go squish.

But I'm not done yet! I've got a few more things to fry your brains with. Like this small rodent. Not sure what species it is, but it's dramatic. Like, James Bond meets Star Wars dramatic, only all smooshed down into the form of a hamster/prairie dog/gopher.

However, not even "dramatic" can describe the two last goodies I've got for this smallish-looking group. Boys and girls, meet the childhood you may have had (but probably wanted to forget). I give you....Pokemon and Sailor Moon!!!

Okay, I sort of lied. Technically these are only the first-season openings, but it should be enough to bring back memories of hours spent in front of the TV letting Ash and Bunny along with their respective anime minions corrupt your innocent little brains.

And you should spend a good long while looking up these characters and their aforementioned minions on Wikipedia, because when a character is described as a "rose-throwing source of encouragement"....well. We all know he's going to have a bit more success than poor old Bernard.

Now I must go pack my pink camouflage-patterned pajama shorts. They're hot.

...

Fine, I was lying again. I think I'm going to pack the blue ones instead.

Arrgh! I be a pirate!

Only, you know. Not.

Even though school is over, I really don't feel like it is....and probably won't for a good long while. But who cares? No one wants to hear me talk about school. So instead, group, let's go for the good stuff: really bad smut.

....

Okay, I'm kidding. Although bad smut is brilliantly entertaining, just because phrases like "love juices" and "hearty meat" fail at being anything other than snicker-inducing. That'd kill sex right there: "Oh Bernard, stab my womb with your powerful man meat!.....Bernard? Bernard, why are you laughing?!?!?"

Not that the name Bernard wouldn't kill sex on its own, but whatever.

Anyway, that wasn't what I was planning on writing about. I was actually planning on writing about the woes of someone who needs to come up with witty things to write in her friends' yearbooks.

But wait, there's more!

I also have the woes of someone who knows she is going to get TOO FAT over summer, and if not over summer definitely when school starts again. Woe is indeed me, except that short and snarky is already me and so are a whole bunch of other things, so woe doesn't really stick out too much. Poor little woe, all ignored and unloved *pets*.

Clearly, I'm more than a little ADD right now--I blame the sundae and cupcake consumed a few hours ago that have yet to lose their effect. I also blame bad smut, for making me laugh, and good old whats-her-face who I'm not going to mention by name but YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

Hmph.

And all I have to say is: "Your son has been kidnapped! By a Turk, on a yacht!"

Thank you ladies and squirrels, you've been a wonderful audience and the more you tip me (I prefer white chocolate, not dark, thanks) the more I'll post!

....Only, you know. Not. Again.