1. Steve Irwin. Hell, even the Australians are probably pissed at him, because now everyone thinks they say "Crikey!" in that accent that only Sydney International Airport PAs use. No one should say crikey. Not even George Lucas, who has done some pretty stupid things in the past (like Episode 2).
2. They eat their roadkill...Sort of. They eat kangaroos. They also hit kangaroos, all the time, on the highway. I mean, more often than we hit deer. I have seen more dead kangaroos in one 2-week trip to Sydney than I've seen dead deer in my total of 16 years here in the US.
3. The barramundi. It's one of the uglier fish--and Australia, having the Great Barrier Reef, has a lot of really ugly fish. But it also has a lot of really colorful, gorgeous fish. So what do they put in pools in hotel lobbies all over Sydney? Yeah, that's right. Barramundi. Which apparently they also serve up to hotel diners. "Oh look, Ma! That man in the funny white hat is spearing one of the fishies!!" "Don't worry, little Fred! That's just dinner!"
4. I have seen a sign on a Chinese place that said "Authentic Chinese cuisine. Warning: There may be bones and feathers in chicken dishes." I have no words for this. Hygienic food laws, anyone?
5. Despite all that BS they feed you about really hot weather, Sydney is pretty much a larger version of a city in western Washington. The scorching desert and wild animals, they save for the really hardcore tourists. Which we're not. So what we saw in Australia, other than some smushed kangaroos and really ugly fish, was almost a copy of what I see every damn day. Except for the newspapers, which were all covering Nicole Kidman's wedding. Here in the US, no one really cared about Nicole until her husband started having drug problems.
6. Lethal jellyfish. End of story.
Honestly, I really don't mind Australia. I spent a lovely 10 days lying in bed with a stomach flu and a fever there, so I have learned that their public libraries have quite the nice selection of cheesy spy novels. But other than that, I think I'll stick to non-edible roadkill, thanks.
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3 comments:
Haven't you ever heard the rule that if someone dies you can't be mean to them anymore? They automatically become heroes, deserving or not. Just look at JFK.
Anyway, I have been restricted by this rule many a time, but you have thoroughly disregarded it in your mocking of Steve Irwin. He's dead, so he must be heroic.
This is proof that I am more politically correct than you. HA!
(notice that I also have the courtesy to leave you comments. You should leave me comments....I am shameless.)
Note that I misspelled promiscuous...I do know how to spell it, I just failed. ugh
crikey
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